Life Coaching
I completed a coaching course in 2006 and it changed and continues to change my life and influenced the lives of people around me in a very positive way. The way I would describe coaching is, it puts you back in control of you life, you choose your own reality and begin to shape it, through goal setting and shaping, “I believe coaching is likened to a breath of clean fresh air in a sometimes stagnant or stale space.”
Why Coaching? Why Now?
'The pace of life, rate of change, shifting family patterns and the complexity of life as we live it today have combined to increase levels of stress, and this can lead to loss of meaning and purpose' (Whitmore, 2002). The “self-help” boom over the past 20 years or so has produced new professions, endless literature and a new awareness amongst people to find what they seek from within themselves. This has provided life coaching with the perfect ground from which to grow. Williams and Davis (2002) believe that “society is ready for life coaching in which a relationship is sought to create a future - not get over a past”.
“When we can cease identifying with our past we will begin to unlock our potential. Professional/Personal Coaching is the vehicle in which to achieve this“.
Case study
Clients name is changed to protect her identity.
Kathleen early 30’s came to coaching so she could make her move to another area of the country go more smoothly. She was just married and was going to live in her husbands home town, this would mean leaving her family, friends and job, all of which were like threads of a comfort blanket or safety net that we each take for granted, naturally. She had already set up job interviews in the area and had found a position that she felt was aligned with her values, a job that would enhance and stretch her potential, this is when she came to see me, at the time she was waiting to hear back from the agent that was looking after her placement. During the next few coaching sessions with Kathleen it became evident that there was an underlying issue that was making this move seem more difficult, one of letting go.
Even when it came down to packing and sorting out her belongings getting ready for her move she was finding it difficult to let go, this showed itself in small things at first, for example, she loved buying bags and shoes (I suppose what women doesn’t) she had already decided to give a lot of her collection away as there would not be room for it in her new place and anyway, as she said ’it was beginning to feel like clutter’ somewhere in the process of having to let go of some material items, a letting go of something more profound arose, a painful past relationship, through the sessions her relationship with her father was something of an issue, in that she never really had the relationship that she wanted with him when she was younger, she was locked into an old pattern with him of poor communication for example, their conversations would go something like this,
…….He would say something like weather/roads/service is very bad today/in this area/these days, Kathleen would feel like she had to defend these things……… and the communication between them would turn into more of an argument about nothing - so nothing of any real meaning got said.
This was starting to impact on Kathleen as making this move with her husband was forcing her to look at the important relationships in her life.
Her relationship with her father in particular. While moving away and a past relationship with her father, in theory seem so far apart, the reality was that before she could make her move, she had to let go of an old ideal of what a father/daughter relationship should look like and recreate a healthy connection with her father.
In the coaching sessions Kathleen became clearer around her move, more proactive about what she wanted her role in her career to be and was able to reassess her role as a daughter. She developed a fresh approach when dealing with her father, which in turn changed or deepened the dynamic of their father/daughter relationship.
I feel its important to mention here that neither her or her father were to blame, and both people were trying to make an effort to communicate in there own way.
Two purposes to a coaching conversation is to:
1. Forward the action?
2. Deepen the learning?
Professional/personal coaching addresses the whole person - with an emphasis on producing action and uncovering learning that can lead to more fulfillment, more balance, and a more effective process for living.
If you'd like further information on Life Coaching please contact Teresa on 086 365 6501 or email teresargue@eircom.net